Where to Raise My Child

I keep saying that I don’t want to raise my kid in LA – bad values, bad air. But the question is… where then? I thought I’d consult with a professional, so I took a facebook quiz.

Now, first I must explain that I am the kind of person who is embarrassed to be the kind of person who takes facebook quizzes, so I have a fake facebook account expressly for the purpose of facebook quiz taking.

Some of the questions on the quiz were hard to answer, both because I am a woman of many faces (facesbook) and because I am in the middle of this transition from Drinky McDrankdrunk to Modern Mom. Do I answer the old way, or the new way? Because neither “apply stretch mark cream” nor “sit around farting” were on the quiz's list of Friday night favorite things to do.

In the end, I felt sure that I had inadvertently answered the questions in such a random way as to completely stump the system: it would either return something like Bismarck, North Dakota or just plain implode. It did think and think and think for a long time. So I walked away. When I returned, the devil had taken over my computer and this is what he said:

“You, my friend, should live in Los Angeles”