My dog knows that something is up. Lately she wears her anxiety on her paw. I'm not sure if she can smell it, or hear it, or taste it... but for a while now, some sixth sense has told her "Your days at the top of the family food chain are numbered."
Normally indistinguishable from a rug, now there's 3am barking, chewing trash, eating chocolate cliff bars off my desk, begging at outdoor coffee shops, and evacuating whenever presented with an open door. Last week she took a poop bath on the hiking trail.
My dog has always been incredibly tolerant of children, allowing herself to be poked and pulled and slapped by them, without so much as a twitch. Recently, after only 11 years, my dog has made an important discovery: small children drop food. And if they don't actually drop it, its easy enough to steal from them since their little hands sit conveniently at snout-level.
Oh yes, they'll be apples and avocado, goldfish and graham crackers... and more Cheerios than one dog could possibly dream of.
Imagine my dog's delight when, in 2.5 short months, she discovers that what is about to dethrone her is actually a food dropper.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
8.23.2009
3.03.2009
Mini-Me
Getting dumped when your pregnant is a bit like getting jilted at the altar: it doesn't really matter how fast or how big the oncoming bullet was when you dodged it, it still feels like they hit you right between the eyes.
I've never been a dater, so it shouldn't disappoint me that I'm off the dating scene for, oh, 2 years to life. But it's like anything: as soon as someone says you can't have it, you want it.
Talking to mis companeras, I am reminded that the pickin's are slim out there anyway. Its so hard to accept people for who they are, and so damn easy to find fault around every corner. The only way to avoid the trappings of other people's failings seems to be to surround yourself with the company of someone above criticism - someone just like you.
Therefore, spawning a little GeeGee is actualy the BEST way to insure that I will be in the company of someone who meets my approval.
I know a lot of people think raising kids is about making the world a better place, but it seems both more interesting and more realistic to think of it as a form of low-rent cloning.
Can’t find anyone you like? Make a new one.
I've never been a dater, so it shouldn't disappoint me that I'm off the dating scene for, oh, 2 years to life. But it's like anything: as soon as someone says you can't have it, you want it.
Talking to mis companeras, I am reminded that the pickin's are slim out there anyway. Its so hard to accept people for who they are, and so damn easy to find fault around every corner. The only way to avoid the trappings of other people's failings seems to be to surround yourself with the company of someone above criticism - someone just like you.
Therefore, spawning a little GeeGee is actualy the BEST way to insure that I will be in the company of someone who meets my approval.
I know a lot of people think raising kids is about making the world a better place, but it seems both more interesting and more realistic to think of it as a form of low-rent cloning.
Can’t find anyone you like? Make a new one.
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