My dog knows that something is up. Lately she wears her anxiety on her paw. I'm not sure if she can smell it, or hear it, or taste it... but for a while now, some sixth sense has told her "Your days at the top of the family food chain are numbered."
Normally indistinguishable from a rug, now there's 3am barking, chewing trash, eating chocolate cliff bars off my desk, begging at outdoor coffee shops, and evacuating whenever presented with an open door. Last week she took a poop bath on the hiking trail.
My dog has always been incredibly tolerant of children, allowing herself to be poked and pulled and slapped by them, without so much as a twitch. Recently, after only 11 years, my dog has made an important discovery: small children drop food. And if they don't actually drop it, its easy enough to steal from them since their little hands sit conveniently at snout-level.
Oh yes, they'll be apples and avocado, goldfish and graham crackers... and more Cheerios than one dog could possibly dream of.
Imagine my dog's delight when, in 2.5 short months, she discovers that what is about to dethrone her is actually a food dropper.
Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts
8.23.2009
7.06.2009
Talking Dogs
My prior parenting experience comes exclusively from the mothering of one small dog.
A lot of you probably have dogs or (cringe) cats who you love very dearly. Maybe you’ve been together for a while now: 3 year, 5 years, 10 years. Surely at this stage, you have begun talking to your pets. Admit it, when you are alone with them (or not) you talk to them, even though they can’t talk back.
But… could you imagine if they could? What if I told you that in a short 18 months time, your dog would begin to speak to you. It would start small, like a mild "gaga" or even "mama." But then soon it would be words and sentences and profanity, until finally, one day, after all these years, you’d say something like “Who wants to go for a walk?” And your dog would reply "I do you stupid motherfucker."
I imagine this will be what it feels like when the frittata begins to speak back to me.
A lot of you probably have dogs or (cringe) cats who you love very dearly. Maybe you’ve been together for a while now: 3 year, 5 years, 10 years. Surely at this stage, you have begun talking to your pets. Admit it, when you are alone with them (or not) you talk to them, even though they can’t talk back.
But… could you imagine if they could? What if I told you that in a short 18 months time, your dog would begin to speak to you. It would start small, like a mild "gaga" or even "mama." But then soon it would be words and sentences and profanity, until finally, one day, after all these years, you’d say something like “Who wants to go for a walk?” And your dog would reply "I do you stupid motherfucker."
I imagine this will be what it feels like when the frittata begins to speak back to me.
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