As all we pregnant ladies can attest to, the old long tube isn’t working so well these days. That’s why for the last 4 months, even the tiniest pinch or ache in my intestinal area prompts the hopeful thought “Are those things finally moving?”
Imagine my shock yesterday at the OB when the junk started moving right there, mid-exam, and she says “Did you feel that kick?” I wanted to tell her that the book says that kicks don’t come until next month. But I didn’t want her to feel stupid.
And then it kicked again. And again “That’s definitely a kick.”
Disappointed as I am that my bowels are NOT, in fact, moving, I have to say… it was super fucking cool. I thought I would be afraid of the little alien. But not at all. Instead I've begun talking to it as my sole form of amusement.
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Try Ezekial all natural sprouted bread for the poops. It is magic. Trust a woman who has had a baby and years of emotional and physical constipation. You can get it at Whole Foods but DO NOT get the salt free and toast it before eating. There are limits to its tastiness. Love the brunch today. I want to see you more often. No, I need to.
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