Guido and Ace

I decided that maybe I don’t want to my child to be called Industrial Ceiling Panel. Its too common these days, along with Addison, Aiden, Emma, Emily, and Ethan.

How do I know this? I asked the Magic Wizard.

I want my children’s names to be daring, different, defiant. Something people won’t forget the millisecond after I introduce them. Something that wasn’t popular in 2007 or 1997. Something with an old world charm.

In case I have twins, I decide to pick two names for a boy and two names for a girl.

If it’s twin girls: Bertha (completely dropped off after 1950) and Ethel (same). I think those names are defiant. I think they say “I dare you to have sex with me.”

If it’s boys, I have selected Guido and Ace, both of which became nearly extinct after 1920 and 1880, respectively. Ace will hustle cards and if he ever looses, Guido will be there to beat the crap out of Ace’s mark until he gives the money back.