o

I have neglected to mention that, a couple of weeks back, I got my first ultrasound. It was just shy of 6 weeks and the little nugget had a heart beat. I must admit: I got choked up. Some of it was probably because I was still pissed off at my ex for not being there, and some of it was probably because someone had a stick up my poontang, but mostly it was because the whole thing is pretty cool.

At first I was kind of bummed out that there were not two, because I had picked out two names and all. Then I figured I could just use both, like a middle name situation. “Guido Ace” or, if it’s a girl, “Ace Guido.”

This is how big the little pulse was on the screen: o

The nice lady with the stick up my twat asked if I would like a photo. When she printed it out, next to the o was the word "HELLO." Just because you have a magic baby wand doesn’t mean you get to name someone else’s kid. I almost gave her a piece of my mind, but I decided to save my energy for cooking the baby.

I wanted to post the little picture, but then I would have to scan it in at work, I’d probably forget it on the scanner, someone would find it, and I would be fired for trying to have a personal life during my free time.