My Boobs Hurt

I always heard that when you get pregnant, its like this big happy dance because you don't have to deal with your period for 9 months. No one tells you that its JUST like having your period - swollen boobs, cramps, tears.

I did a search on the internet to make sure that cramps were normal (what can I say? pregnant=crazy and no one is immune) and I found this Q&A on one of the 8 bajillion pregnancy sites:

Q: I'm on week 5 of my pregnancy and I'm still experiencing cramping. I know implantation cramping is normal, but how long can I expect this to last?

A: It will last another 8.5 months, then it will get really, really bad for about 12 hours.

(It works better if you listen to this afterwards:)